Me and the scale.

I am going to have a conversation with my scale. I do not think it gets the point that it is suppose to go down in numbers and not up. I am not at 210.5... 1.5 higher than 2 weeks ago. Not excited about that, but I feel that I am doing what I can to change that. However if the scale could work with me on this one it will make my life a whole lot easier! :)

Breakfast: (at 11:30) Subway. Subway club on honey wheat with spinach, tomatoes, pickle and ranch. Salsa Sun Chips. Diet Coke. 2- 60 cal. hershey sticks (now my favorite low cal snack! Thanks dollar store! 10 cents per stick!!)
Snack: Popcorn at work... I went a little crazy adding white cheddar or caramel and butter. Also had some Mountain Dew over diet. Not too happy with that choice either. :( I did realize however I did it because I was starving by this time and went and had my lunch.
Lunch: Fruit Loops with Skim Milk
Dinner: Ham and Cheddar Lunchable with 100 cal Prengle pack. Water. Mountain Dew.
Snack: Skim milk to go with vitamins. Water. Green Tea.

Exercise: 2 mile walk with Locke.

April is here... and so am I!

It ended up being a beautiful day. I was surprised because when I woke up it was raining, hailing and windy... just all around yucky! I however waited it out and by the time I was ready for my walk it was beautiful!

Where is the NKOTB items in Grand Rapids!? I have my awesome concert on Saturday and have not prepared at all!! Now I have to come up with outfit from my wardrobe... can I do it? I hope so! I have no idea what I will be able to put together but should have something. I went shopping with Scott tonight for a shirt and found one at Hot Topic for $22.00! I was like whoa- a marker and a white t-shirt may be the way I go!! :) Any idea where I can get a hair crimper?

I did not do as good with food today as I wanted. As I sit here I want a bowl of cereal.... but I am not hungry. Here in lies the battle that I fight in my head every day! I want it vs. I need it. So what I will do now is make my food list and if it is not on my list... it has and will not go in my mouth! :)

breakfast: granola bar
Lunch: Uchellos pizza bar with Sarah. 3 bread sticks with ranch. 2 pcs. of pizza. Salad with cheese, croutons and french dressing. 2 peanut butter cookies. 1 pc. of cheesecake. spoon of pudding. Diet Coke.
Snack: Glass of skim milk
Dinner: Quota with Scott. Chicken Quesidilla with Guackamolie and sour cream. Dr. Pepper.
Snack: Granola bar with vitimain. Green Tea. Water.

Exercise: 2 miles with Scott and Locke.

Last day of March:

What a gloomy end to the month. It was rainy and windy and just all around depressing today. I will admit that the weather today has gotten me down. Grumpy and not wanting to do anything today... that was me.

Food List:
Breakfast: honey nut Cheeros with skim milk
Snack: Popcorn. Diet Pepsi
Lunch: Meijer Deli- 2 Chicken tenders. Mac&Cheese. Roll. Diet Coke. Water.
Dinner: Frosted Flakes with skim milk
Snack: Garnolia Bar to go with my vitamins. Green Tea. Water.

Exercise: 1 Mile. A tough mile but Locke and I did it.

Thoughts on eating.

One thing that I remember one of the ladies at Weight Watchers saying when I went to a meeting is that if you follow a skinny person around and eat as they eat, you WILL lose weight. Here is my thought on that.... 'Are you kidding me! I need some food!!' :) No really... it is almost as if I panic when I think that I will not feel full. It all comes around to that need to not feel empty. Not to be empty.

I also know that when I do not eat... my mood is different. I KNOW that my mood is controlled by food. When I am hungry I am like a beast! As soon as I eat, it is a complete change. I have even had people point this out to me. So I guess what it comes down to is- Do not over eat, have a light snack if I am hungry so my mood is not out of control, and make much better choices when it comes to food. It is so easy to say, now the work starts because I have to do it.

I made sure to make a note of the things that I have eaten today to share with you all. I know arent you just so excited! :) I actually loved that I needed to be accountable to my friends and family who read this. I even said to myself 'do you really want to put down that you ate that!?'

Breakfast: nothing, this could be part of the problem
Lunch: Salad bar with Melissa. Bowl of Split Pea soup. Salad with cheese, croutons, olives, bacon bits, and raspberry vingerette. Diet Coke.
Snack: Popcorn. 1/2 pack of fat free gummi bears
Dinner: Subway. Foot Long meatball with provlone cheese and green pepper. 1 Chocolate Chip cookie. Water
Snack: Garnola bar to go with vitimins, water, green tea.

Exercise: 2 mile walk with Locke. No need ot yell at me today!! :)

Decisions.

Soooo I was sitting here just stairing at a picture taken of me this weekend at the Lowell Expo where I had a booth for my theater and all I can think is 'I think I should have gotten the 1X because the XL seems a little, well, tight. Such a shame!

So now as if you need to care more- I will be writing down what I eat everyday after my post and if I exercised or not for the day. If not please yell at me... and I mean it!! Also if you ever want to go for a walk on a nice day... call me and I will come to you!!

So enough about my weight. I have another thing weighing on my thoughts...
I want to become a Pure Romance Consultant. What do you all think? I love the idea of empowering woman with their own sexuality, and about empowering themselves just in general. Would this be the kind of party that you would have or even go to? Would you have one thrown in your home? I went to one and had such a great time just spending time with other women. I have not laughed that hard in a long time! I love that it is 18 and older women only with no children or men. If my decision is not made by Tuesday the starter packages go off sale. Though you will still get a big discount, even more off is great! No really... what do you think?

Well I am off to take my dog for a walk. At least 1 mile... hopefully it is not too cold for 2. :) I will start my food journal tomorrow.

What do I know?

Can I do it? Do I even have the faith in myself needed to lose weight? Where can I find it!?

I feel frustrated. I am upset with myself for letting it get this out of hand. I am so tired of looking at myself this way.... but I have no idea where to start to change it.

Yummy doughnuts.

I can not pass the bakery at Meijer with out getting a doughnut! I must find a new path. Sadly I need to walk through the bakery to get to the Health and Beauty department.... Welp, if this is going to work it looks like I will stay towards the vegetable side. They never seem to call as loudly to me.

I think it is about making a whole life change. Can I do it?